You know what? Since everyone else is scared to touch it... I'll touch it. That's right, I'm going to risk life and limb, as well as my sanity, to review one of the most horrible adaptations that has ever been created on the face of the planet...
Spider-Man 3.
Adaptation?! How?! Well, I'm going to tell you how. You see, there is a book. A comic book. It is called, you guessed it! Spider-Man! And in this book there is a story arc that involves a symbiote creature from space that melds with Peter Parker (our unlucky hero), turns him into a Spider-Jerk and generally just makes him a totally rude dude. Through the course of this arc, things happen and eventually Peter Parker rids himself of the symbiote and it latches onto some musclebound meathead by the name of Eddie Brock. From there? VENOM is born.
Sounds pretty hot, right?
Well. THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED IN SPIDER-MAN 3.
Granted, I'll give you that it was the same basic arc of characterage, but the movie completely and utterly destroyed the sheer awesome of what was one of the most popular story arcs in Spider-Man history. Not only that, but it was one of the darkest times for Peter himself! This was serious business! But no, as usual, Hollywood had to go and create an abomination, throw in about 3 million dollars worth of moving sand particles and try to pull the wool over the eyes of the general Spider-Watching public. Well, this is one Spider-Fan that they failed to fool.
I should really get focused on the adapation, actually. The transference of the "Venom" arc to the big screen was horrible. First of all, the entirety of Sandman was nowhere near there, in the hefty source material. Nor was the emergence of Green Goblin II. Who, for some strange reason in Spider-Man 3 is referred to as New Gobln. Yes, Hollywood. It's okay for you to completely disregard years of comic history and create your own Marty McGoblin for a feature film that's going to suck in unfathomable levels. ANYWAY! The visuality of the character "Eddie Brock" was completely wrong. Now, I happen to like Topher Grace as much as the next guy. He's funny and all that. But he is, in no way, even remotely close to looking like the Eddie Brock that some of us know and love. Which is a major problem with the film, because if you can't see Eddie, you can't believe he's Eddie. In my humble (but right) opinion.
Another major problem with this film adaptation is the fact that the symbiote creature seemed to turn Peter into more of a pelvic thrusting emo-kid than anything else. Which is just NOT RIGHT. I think I'm a little passionate about this subject, but it's only because, well, Spider-Man is sacred. And they ruined it. By creating a movie that is so far from the source material that it's a DC Comic.
- Jason "My Spider-Sense Is Tingling." Newbern
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment